Today I went for a long walk with a friend. We enjoyed the beautiful autumn colours and had one of those wonderful conversations that move effortlessly from one subject to another. At some point, we found ourselves discussing a question: Why do we so often feel under pressure to achieve certain things in life? To have a good job, own a house, build a family and generally be successful?
The question stayed with me long after I returned home.
Of course, financial security is a real concern. We need money for housing, food, independence and a sense of safety. Having a good job isn't necessarily about status. But there seems to be another kind of pressure, one that is less visible.
From an early age, many of us are encouraged to follow a particular path: do well at school, find a good job, buy a house, start a family and make something of ourselves. And when our lives don't follow that path, we may begin to feel that we're somehow falling behind.
Social media doesn't make this any easier. We see promotions, beautiful homes, holidays and apparently wonderful lives, forgetting that we're comparing our everyday reality with carefully selected moments from other people's lives.
I also find it interesting how often, when meeting someone new, we ask, “What do you do for a living?” and how rarely we ask, “Are you happy with your life?” Our professions can become such an important part of our identities that we sometimes forget they're only one part of who we are.
But what would Ayurveda say about all this?
While studying Ayurveda, I came across the concept of the four Purusharthas - or aims of human life - from Hindu philosophy.
Dharma concerns living according to one's values, responsibilities and sense of purpose.
Artha is the pursuit of material wellbeing, including earning a living and creating financial security, while asking oneself, “Am I doing the right thing?”.
Kama is the enjoyment of life through pleasure, love, food, beauty, art and meaningful experiences.
Moksha refers to spiritual liberation and freedom from attachment.
What I find particularly interesting is that material success has its place in this philosophy. Earning money, working towards goals and creating a comfortable life are not considered wrong. But they are not the whole picture. A meaningful life can also include spending time with people we love, appreciating beauty, enjoying ordinary pleasures and finding a sense of inner freedom.
Perhaps the problem isn't ambition itself, but the expectation that everyone should pursue the same version of success.
And thinking back to our walk, I realised that the afternoon had contained several of these things already: friendship, an interesting conversation, the pleasure of being outdoors and the freedom to spend a few hours without needing to achieve anything in particular.
Not a bad way to spend an afternoon. 🌿
